—
Give me, O Lord
A steadfast heart
Which no unworthy affection
may drag downwards;
Give me
An unconquered heart
Which no tribulation
can wear out;
Give me
An upright heart
Which no unworthy purpose
may tempt aside.
Bestow upon me also, O Lord my God,
Understanding to know You,
Diligence to seek You,
Wisdom to find You,
and a faithfulness
That may finally embrace You,
Through Jesus Christ our Lord.
To expose our hearts to truth and consistently refuse to neglect or obey the impulses it arises is…to grieve the Holy Spirit into silence.
—A.W. Tozer
Vitamin D, the sunshine drug.
…simple perfect trust in God, such trust that we no longer want God’s blessings, but only want Himself. Have we come to a place where God can withdraw His blessings and it does not affect our trust in Him?
—Oswald Chambers
—
Listening to a song on the drive home brought me to another place. It was so reminiscent of the playlist I had in last year’s travels and instantly my heart thought, “Wish I was away traveling. I’m here, but my heart is elsewhere.” I had barely finished that sentence when instantly Jim Elliot’s most memorable quote interrupted the thought. “Wherever you are, be all there.”
This morning I was scrolling through a feed of photos and chancing on one, my heart goes, “oh look, it’s the love of your life” and I had to laugh. My mind was like, “whoa, what?” Sure, he’s a godly man who may have most characteristics I admire in a friend, a leader, and okay, even maybe a parter; but with all that he is, he is far from being the love of my life (really, what does that even mean?). And my one concluding thought to that is, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”
I am grateful for the wisdom and sobriety brought on by my love relationship now. Indeed, knowing God intimately sheds light on a lot of things. It’s also knowing how to lead your heart, and not listen to it. I could have easily let those initial thoughts snowball into a streaming flight of fancy delusions, but by God’s grace, I have learned to hold my thoughts captive and make it obedient to Christ (although in some situations, not as well as this one). I’m sure in the past I’ve been driven many many times but my feelings, done many things “in the name of love,” and assessed and attacked situations by my heart’s understanding of it. Now I have learned that it’s not ideal, and not very wise! Again, “the heart is deceitful…” Who knows why? We’re fallen creatures with a flawed nature. This is why we are called to “guard our hearts above all things” and “renew our minds.”
If we can’t trust our hearts, what do we trust? I believe we can trust the heart of He who loves perfectly, holy and wise and without a fault. When we know His heart, we begin to know how our hearts were originally designed to be. We begin to see things in light of who He is, how He values, and how He loves. We are sobered by an eternal perspective that shows us which things are important and which things clutter. It is by knowing that which is true that we are able to recognize the things that are false and marked by unrealities.
And we know that all truth is held in the heart of our Creator, the same heart that longs to cradle ours. Still I am learning, and daily relearning, this principle: know His heart, trust His heart, let it lead mine.
★
The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water:
He turneth it whithersoever He will.
Proverbs 21:1
Lord make my way prosperous, not that I achieve high station, but that my life may be an exhibit to the value of knowing God.
—Jim Elliot
-
Today I am free.
I am free from unforgiveness, and free to forgive.
I raise my white flag and wave away the resentment, the seed of offense, the annoyance.
Today I am free.
I am free to love. Having tasted the extravagance of perfect love, I am moved to a compassion that covers and blots out the two faces of non-love: apathy and contempt.
I am taken by a love so pure that it breaks down the walls of fear, the fortress of self-preservation and frees me to receive love unbridledly.
Today I am free.
I am free to think. And think in truth.
And thus speak in truth, in clarity, in sobriety.
Tonight I am free.
I am free of desire. Plans laid down, hopes and dreams released, self surrendered.
Freed to contentment, I walk away from all I ever wanted,
and walk into His desire. To live in His plans, to be shaped for His dreams,
and to take on His heart. His heart upon mine, my desires for His.
Tonight I am His- wholly, completely, abandonedly.
-
What my future home will look like:
Lovely, yes?
☆
*All photos from The Glow
Not in any inappropriate way, nothing that’s not, you know, decent or— I just find when I examine my heart, I find… I think that there’s love there… for you.
—Paper Man
God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with Him.
—Jim Elliot
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